wondering how your man would feel about adoption?

a topic that has been on my mind religiously since i have been getting older. want to guess what it is? let me help you out...ADOPTING.  it all brought me back to the days i was dating. i remember always trying to sneak in the question "would you ever consider adoption". see this is something that i consider very important to me when i am in a relationship. i am very adamant about adopting. my mom was adopted, i was adopted, so its only right to keep the legacy going, i cannot marry a man that does not want to adopt kids or at least a child. it has been a dream of mine for many years and i am not willing to compromise on that. i dont think i am being selfish, i just think that when something is that important to you you have to stand by it. now, as scary as it has been to bring it up with past dates, i never knew how a dude would react. i have heard it all before from, "hell naw i want my own kids", "adopt for what", " i do not know i have to deal with it when the time come", and "i want to have one on my own first". now that last response had me feeling some kinda way because it made me feel like adopting would mean to that person that they would not feel as if it were his own and that is kinda uhhh negative, i dont know. till this day i have not heard a man say he feels he wants to adopt straight up, so it has me wondering...

as i keep up with my poll about adopting on my blog, about 15% want to adopt but dont know how their partner will feel. in my heart i feel as a woman its more in us to be likely to adopt in comparison to a man. after watching a special on t.v a while back, it showed be a great point about men adopting. men can love their adopted children as a woman would, it may just take them more time to bond but they will come around when they see the beauty that is behind a child's smile...

so my question to you,
"how comfortable are you with speaking to your partner about adoption"?
"can you be with your man if he would not want to adopt"?

i vow to adopt, "the voice of the adoptee's"

November 21, 2009 National Adoption Day

This year marks the 10th anniversary of National Adoption Day, a national day of celebration of adoptive families and an opportunity for courts to open their doors and finalize the adoptions of children from foster care. Since 2000, more than 25,000 children have had their adoptions finalized on National Adoption Day. This year on November 21, families, adoption advocates, policymakers, judges and volunteers will come together and celebrate adoption in communities large and small all across the nation.
[resource: http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/2009/index.asp]

Dear Readers:
okay, so i am not here to scream and rant about my feelings on NAD, all i am saying is "dayum, nationally we make such a big hooplah about how good adoption is and what not, but what the hell about the adoptee? let me propose this to the state: we would not be so angry if yall thought about the adoptee for ONCE! i bet we never cross the minds of  law makers. everyone else just thinks they can wipe their hands clean after they did the good deed of "saving a life", too bad its not that simple. all we ask for is some RESPECT that's all. and just for the record, i don't have a problem with adoption, in fact i think its a blessing for those that cannot have children themselves or want to provide a child with a home. i'm definitely all for it but please think of "us" too, this is our life, not yours. i just pray for more rights, equal rights, rights that we deserve as adoptee's. that's all i am saying...

fighting for my right, "the voice of the adoptee's"

BREAKING THE BANK JUST TO SEARCH? SHAME ON YOU!

i remember when i first attempted to search for my b-fam years ago and i ran across a site called "Omni Trace".  after filling out the info online it tells you a representative will contact you about your information, then they drop the bomb about the price and all that BS. so....that never worked out. then i remember people always telling me to hire a P.I to do the search, then i heard about all these other organizations that say they will search if you pay. blahhh blahh. the crazy thing is, you pay for these people to search for your family and you may never find them and you are left with NOTHING but tears and agony and maybe a few pennies. then a good friend of mine thats an adoptee was adopted through catholic charities of some sort and she was told she had to pay somewhere between $300-400 for them to begin to search, but here is the trick...its only if her b-parents want to be found. what kinda crap is that! so then that would leave my poor friend with nothing! i just dont see how people make a business out of this searching crap! THIS IS OUR LIFE FOR DAMN SAKE! dont you think we have been through enough already to have to go through even more. one thing i know for sure is that i dont have a price tag and neither does my fam! if i were you all that make people pay to look for their own family i would be a shamed of myself! 


so how sad is this, while i was on twitter today i came across this tweet from @danabetz, he must be a Omni Trace rep. his two tweets said:

Offering $200.00 off our birth parent and adoptee searches to the next 10 persons who become our clients. http://www.omnitrace.com

If you are an adoptee or a birth mother searching, we can reunite you with your lost family member (s) today. http://tinyurl.com/yhqy5ly  

the hell with Omni Trace as far as im concerned! they even screwd over an adoptee i recently met online out of about $1300 and she pretty much lost hope in wanting to find her family, now that's so damn sad.

 i want all of you to know that this is a life we are talking about, not a pet or an object, A LIFE! imagine if this was your mom or dad you were searching for and someone told you to cough up the money to see them again and you were already struggling living check-to-check? but i am sure you wont even go there...im just sayin'

searching, "the voice of the adoptee's" 

SOMEBODY SAID YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME...

Hey beautiful hearts! im working hard trying to spread the word of my journey and helping others reunite with their families, but i need your help. i am posting all the sites i am on that connect to me. with everyones help we can make it one step closer to helping someone find their missing siblings. the power of the interenet is bananas!!!

http://www.yourbloodismyblood.com/ this site

www.twitter.com/iamadopted "my real life, real rap"

www.facebook.com/iamadopted there's so much adoptee love on FB!

www.youtube.com/yourbloodismyblood 


yourbloodismyblood@yahoo.com EMAIL



MUAHZ! "THE VOICE OF THE ADOPTEE'S"

NOVEMBER IS ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH

November 2009 adoption awareness month's theme is, "You dont have to be perfect to be a perfect parent". This month is set aside to raise awareness about the adoption of children and youth from foster care.


After reading many opinions from twitter, Facebook, and Youtube videos, i have seen more negative responses from adoptees, and more positive responses from adopted parents and from those that support adoption. as adoptee's, let take this time to express how we feel about Adoption Awareness Month. you can post your comments below this posting.  Also, below is some information about the history about this month.  

Adoption Month Proclamation: 

Each year in November, the President of the United States issues a proclamation to announce National Adoption Month. Many State governors also issue proclamations to raise awareness of the need for adoptive families and encourage citizens to become involved in the lives of waiting children and youth.

The first major effort to promote awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in the foster care system occurred in Massachusetts. In 1976, then-Governor Mike Dukakis proclaimed Adoption Week and the idea grew in popularity and spread throughout the nation. President Gerald Ford made the first National Adoption Week proclamation, and in 1990, the week was expanded to a month due to the number of states participating and the number of events.

Sources:
http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/november-is-national-adoption-awareness-month-2.html
http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/nam/

love yall like familia, "the voice of the adoptee's"

what we do does not define who we are

what defines us is how well we rise after falling...

only God can judge me...

I WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT

If you don’t know me by now you will find out real quick that I am in love with tattoos! Although I only have three, I have plans in the making for a huge project! So I will take you on a sneak peek of my most recent and most meaningful one I got done about a week ago.

If you are asking if it hurt…YES, YOU DANGGGG RIGHT! Now that a week has passed I couldn’t be happier about it and the whole tattooing experience by Doc Burns in Deerfield, Fl. He is phenomenal! he has his work cut out for him for this huge piece I am about to get done on my back about my life story, but it’s nothing he can’t handle I’ve seen his great work and most importantly I trust him! Phew!! I mean this stuff is forever so it better be right [i laugh, yet serious]

I decided to get “I walk by faith” with a sparrow. During my walk with life and everything ive had to encounter, one thing I have never done was lose my faith in my walk in understanding why such things have happened to me. So when things get bad my tattoo is reminder to continue to walk strong with my head up, right foot forward. I may not have the answers to everything but in my heart I believe by faith that everything has meaning and everything is for a purpose. The sparrow, which I love-love-love on my foot is a symbol of something I found in these scriptures:

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God. Luke 12:6

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your fathers leave (consent) and notice Matthew 10:29

I remember as a child in school we were always asked if we could be anything what would we be, and I would always say a bird. today I consider myself like a pretty little sparrow under the constant watch of the Lord. You see many people thought that sparrows weren’t of importance because they were just little birds that were overlooked because of insignificance of value; however, God sees the beauty in all of his children and we are all just as important to one another no matter how big or small we are. Many have forgotten me throughout my life, but God says my child you will be a star that will light up this world and that how I see it. He will not let me fall to the ground for when I am falling he comes down and picks me up before I hit the ground. as an adoptee, God has always been my King and I will always be his princess, never forgotten.

searching, "the voice of the adoptee's"

[SPECIAL THANKS TO WWW.MYSPACE.COM/DOCBURNSFL FOR MY TATTOO] 

HEY GUYS AND DOLLS! I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU ALL

phew! i feel like it has been forever since i have reached out to you all or written anything, please forgive me. school has me all over the place as well my jobs. this is why i always say i cannot wait to graduate so i can pursue writing as a career or take a year off and dedicate it solely to my search.

so the reason for this post is because i should have had the postings up from when i asked people to submit a personal piece for "my life as an adoptee" a long time ago. unfortunately as i said i have been tied up, but not a day passes by that i do not think about everyone's stories and i mean that in my heart. due to the amount of responses i am trying to decide how i am going to feature the personal statements because i believe each one deserves special recognition. you all are so amazing!! i am so happy to be a part of your lives hearing your life stories!! LUCKY ME! so in november, i am going to be in Spain and i will have a couple weeks off to myself to dedicate it writing, researching, and enjoying my life. last time i went to Spain it did a lot for me to just breathe and think about my life as a whole, you know sometimes you just need that break.

by the way, i have so much exciting news that has been bottled up in side of me that i have to share with you all, so you mos def have to stay tune!!

love you all, "the voice of the adoptee's"

i am a prisoner to the state, when will i be free mr. president

Its very sad to know that i cannot attain my "own" birth certificate! lets be real i own it right? why does my life have to be a secret? the state should be ashamed of themselves for closed adoption, and not letting adoptee's access their own information we are rightfully entitled to. even if you appeal to a judge for your o.b.c you wont even receive the original state sealed one. [shaking my head]. and still, what are the odds of them even hearing your appeal unless you are probably on your death dying bed. the state wants you to fill out all these documents and tell you a million things, in my head all i am thinking is [ya ya yaa cough it up]! Theresa Hood [CHECK HER SITE OUT http://www.retaggr.com/Page/Theresa]and i had a brief covo about this and she said:

"The "mommy may I" parental permission slips to get a birth certificate are offensive and degrading.

What other group of citizens require their parent's permission to get a simple piece of paper as an adult?

Or alternately, who else can be denied a simple piece of paper as an adult simply because their parents say they can't?"

                             and i said...

you are so right Theresa. you know i sat here thinking about your comment before i actually got back to it now, and im just thinking at what point are we free? when are the chains taken off of our wrist, we are like prisoners to the state or maybe even our adoptive parents even when we are of age! we ARE the only ones that have to endure the suffering, and who is there to help us? no one. honestly i feel like the minute we are given up, we have lost all of our rights, i don get it. it makes me feel like...

[i have committed a crime and i am doing the time for simply, being born.-sigh-]

JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DONT KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING THIS PROCESS CAN BE AND HOW WE HAVE LOST OUR IDENTITIES IN SUCH A WAY BECAUSE WE CANT OBTAIN WHAT BELONGS TO US. SHOUT OUT TO THE ADOPTEES RIGHT DEMONSTRATIONS AND THOSE THAT VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME TO FIGHT FOR THIS CAUSE. 
           http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/

 

Add a caption

Its very sad to know that i cannot attain my "own" birth certificate! lets be real i own it right? why does my life have to be a secret? the state should be ashamed of themselves for closed adoption, and not letting adoptee's access their own information we are rightfully entitled to.

with a world as big, yet so small, birth mothers and children will soon reunite

create peace "the voice of the adoptee's"

"why did she adopt you if she was poor..." these were the words that my adviser said to me the other day. now i am going to be honest with you all, i was about to slap her into the lake that was next to us. i know she didn't mean it in such a way, i will give her the benefit of the doubt. sometimes she just sticks her foot deep into her mouth as if she had a foot the size of Shaquille O'Neil [shaking my head]. i just don't understand people sometimes, more like all the time i guess.

she was talking about how i shouldn't be helping my mom through the many situations she is going through in life, and focus more on school because i am almost done. mind you, my mom has a second grade education, doesn't really read or write at level she should even in Spanish, is sick with diabetes, can barely walk, doesn't drive, yet she works 3 jobs, and is a widow, i can go on forever, but to me, my mom is a fighter. she has fought her whole life to be where she is today.  i will share her story soon with you all, but she is phenomenal! AND I WILL BE DAMN  if anyone thinks they will say something like that about her. i will save my comment till after graduation and introduce my adviser to my mom and explain to her "that this right here, is strength, is courage, is amazing, is MY HERO! she came from nothing and i mean nothing to having a life that she fights for everyday through her struggle physically and emotionally. so i will say this to the world, if it means that i have to drop my life for my mother i will! i owe to her, she comes from a orphanage, adopted into a family as their slave that kept her in a basement, fed her scraps, and to make it worse, she had to hide under her bed so she wouldn't get raped from her family members. the man that saved her from them, my dad, her hero, died too early and left my mom with with a sad lonely heart. and to tell you, i was not adopted through an agency, i was left at someones home; therefore, she did not ask for this, she had a heart and compassion for a child that was left behind. my mom and my dad saved all their money to adopt me even when they didn't have much. in my mom's heart i am all she has to a connection of understanding her pain, i am going to be someone and save her life. i don't care what anyone says or thinks of me.

she gave her last penny to adopt me...

[God bless those that may never understand]

5th Circuit hears arguments in case of two fathers seeking birth certificate for adopted child

By Laura Maggi, The Times-Picayune

October 07, 2009, 6:24PM

The state's Department of Vital Statistics cannot be forced to provide a birth certificate listing two men as the parents of of a Louisiana-born boy adopted by a gay couple in New York, a lawyer with the state's attorney general argued Wednesday morning to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.
Kyle Duncan, head of the attorney general's appellate division, argued before a three-judge panel that because Louisiana law does not allow an unmarried couple to jointly adopt a child, the state registrar cannot be forced to recognize an out-of-state adoption of that sort in a new birth certificate. The state Legislature recently reaffirmed that legal position.
U.S. District Judge Jay ZaineyAt the end of last year, U.S. District Judge Jay Zainey ruled that this position by the state violates the constitutional rights of the adoptive parents and the child, who was born in Shreveport in 2005 and adopted in April 2006. Because Louisiana provides new birth certificates for Louisiana-born children adopted outside the state -- listing the names of the adoptive parents -- Zainey concluded that it must provide the same document for this family as well.
In arguments for the adoptive parents, Oren Adar and Mickey Smith, an attorney for Lambda Legal, a national gay rights organization, argued that under the "full faith and credit" provision of the U.S. Constitution, Louisiana State Registrar Darlene Smith cannot pick which out-of-state adoptions she will sanction with a new birth certificate.
She has to accept or reject the adoption based on whether it was legally valid, said Kenneth Upton, a staff attorney with Lambda. By comparison, Upton noted that New York is currently the only state that doesn't allow "no-fault" divorces, but those kind of divorces obtained in other states are recognized by New York agencies.
Upton said the Louisiana birth-certificate issue had real-life implications for Adar and Smith, who now live in San Diego, California. Not having the birth certificate listing them both as parents became a problem when they applied to cover their child under health insurance and during air travel, he said.
But Judge E. Grady Jolly questioned whether anyone suffered real harm because the couple has a valid adoption certificate that showing they legally fill the role of parents.
"I'm not clear that a certificate of adoption is accepted as readily and fully as a birth certificate," Upton responded.
While Duncan noted that the New York adoption of the child was valid, he said there was no obligation by Louisiana to issue a public record that violates the state's own adoption laws. He echoed Jolly's skepticism about whether depriving the family of a new birth certificate caused harm, saying the document would be more for "understandable symbolic purposes."
Along with Jolly, the case was heard by 5th Circuit Judges Thomas Reavley and Jacques Wiener Jr.

[special thanks to Eris Blache, @MissBlache on twitter from N.O for providing me with this news piece]

CREATE PEACE, the voice of the adoptee's

Through Thick and Thin

ive had the great honor of meeting such a wonder young woman several months ago and her name is stephanie gowdy! i was more of a mentor toward her in the beginning, but as time went by she soon became a close friend of mine. when i say this is a supporter, i am so serious. throughout all of my events and my adoptee journey she has been there all the way through. in the begininning i was always giving the advice and of course its probably because i am older and a wiser through experience, but she is one smart and strong woman and i learn a lot from her too. 

any who..she made me this beautiful drawing of myself as a birthday gift. anyone that knows me knows that i would love things like this before i ask for a gucci bag or lv bag. lol. i had tears running down my eyes as i read the messages throughout the drawing her and her mom wrote. some of the saying were:

• God's precious creation and beauty within & out- (steph's mom)

• A sister in whom we are proud of - (steph' mom)

• Always have family in me! (steph)

steph and her mom have supported me though everything and i couldn't be more proud to have them in my life, they are family to me and i am so thankful for it all. Steph is also a writer/blogger check her out http://amandasound.blogspot.com/  and  Twitter @sgowdy3

love ya Stephanie and mum!!

(i have been very blessed to have been able to create my own family. family is more than just blood sometimes...)

 

She Set Me Free...

  
 
MY MOM IS MY HERO...

STAYED TUNED, I WILL BE SHARING MY MOM'S STORY WITHIN THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.

ARE YOU ADOPTED OR KNOW SOME THAT IS? SHARE YOUR STORY WITH ME, THE VOICE OF THE ADOPTEE'S

i get so many emails of people thanking me for sharing my story and telling me how brave i am after all i have been through, but what people do not know is that its your encouragement that helps get me to the next level. i know many of us adoptee's feel alone without a voice or no one knows how it is to feel:

• ALONE
• ALIENATED
• ABANDONED
• TRAPPED
• ABUSED
• CONFUSED
  

i could go on forever...

but i want YOU, to tell us how you feel living as an adoptee or in foster care. who knows, you just might help someone by them reading your story or watching your video clip (from one adoptee to another it really helps, its a sense of comfort).


if you would like to be apart of this blog post by sharing your story through a You Tube clip-video, writing an email of your story (pictures would be great too), or any other creative way. please submit your information and story about how you feel living your life as an adoptee to yourbloodismyblood@yahoo.com


ALL EMAILS ARE DUE BY SEPTEMBER 29, 2009, AND THE BLOG POST WILL BE UP OCTOBER 1, 2009.

 
Love: THE VOICE OF THE ADOPTEE'S

Americas Next Top Model- Sundai

KILL THAT RUNWAY SUNDAI, GO GET IT!

while watching Americas Next Top Model tonight, there was a beautiful girl name Sundai competing to win the title American's Next Top Model Petite. Tyra commented saying she has been through a lot living in foster care and orphanages, and many think that Tyra will take her under her wing. My wish for you is that you can take this modeling and your experiences and make it bigger than life!

Just know you have my vote girl! any i will continue to support you through my blog. just as you have had to fight throughout your life you will too in this competition. i believe in you!

LA Times writes: "Sundai, 18, of Bakersfield: showed up with layers upon layers of weave. Tyra will take care of that one -- please believe. Sundai seems amazingly even-keeled, even though she survived an abusive childhood and some time in the foster care system. Something tells me she'll shed more than her weave this cycle."

"Adopting Older Kids And Youth is A-OKAY"

I was on Twitter and had a conversation with @AdonisPrada who a product of the foster care system. he told me about this website to check out and i did, all i can say is A-MAZING! this organization You Gotta Believe, is exactly what this society needs. There are so many kids that are adopted or in foster care and once they turned 18 they are put out on their own as if the parents that took responsibility said " i did my job you are an adult now".

CHECK IT OUT: http://yougottabelieve.org/us.htm

You Gotta Believe!, The Older Child Adoption and Permanency Movement, Inc. is an IRS determined 501(c)(3) not-for-profit corporation and was approved by the State of New York to have the authority to both place out and board out children since 1995.

We are a homeless prevention program that seeks to prevent homelessness by finding permanent moral and legal adoptive homes for teens and preteen children in foster care.

We offer an on-going learning experience to the general public by making available to you a 30 hour ten-week GPS II/MAPP with a specialty in Teen Permanency (that we also refer to as the Adopting Older Kids And Youth - A-OKAY) parent preparation course in ten different locations in and around New York City every week. Please see our events page for the topic of the next class. You may come to any class one half hour before the class begins for a mini-orientation. You are then welcomed to stay for the class and begin your ten week learning experience. All our classes are "rolling" which means you can join the class any time you would like. We offer these orientations and classes every 1) Monday night in Yonkers; 2) Tuesday night in the Bronx; 3) Tuesday night in Suffolk County/Holtsville; 4) Wednesday night in Coney Island/Brooklyn; 5) Thursday night in Harlem; 6) Thursday night in Staten Island; 7) Saturday morning at 10am in East New York/Brooklyn; 8) Saturday afternoon at 2pm in Nassau County/Rockville Centre; 9) Saturday afternoon at 3pm in Manhattan's Greenwich Village; and 10) Sunday afternoon at 4pm in Jamaica/Queens. All evening weekday orientations start at 6pm. We will be adding an 11th class soon at the Long Island GLBT Community Center in Bayshore starting on March 2nd and we will also be adding a 12th class soon in far eastern Long Island in the Riverhead area.

In addition to our "physical presence" learning we offer with our A-OKAY classes, we also offer the Brooklyn, Suffolk County, Nassau County, and Staten Island, Yonkers, Manhattan, and Bronx communities our award winning weekly cable television program entitled "The Adopting Teens & 'Tweens Show" This show offers a variety of excellent information about the experience of bringing teens and pre-teens into your home permanently. Please see our TV page for the current time and day of our broadcasts in Brooklyn, Suffolk County, Nassau County, Staten Island, Yonkers, Bronx, and Manhattan. To access our TV page click here http://www.yougottabelieve.org/tv.htm. It is also interesting to note that if you cannot get our TV programs on your television at home you can watch a live-stream of the program as it is airing either in Brooklyn (every Thursday at Noon and 8pm), Manhattan (every Thursday at 11:30am), or The Bronx (every Sunday at 10:30am.) Please click on our TV page above to access the live stream.

Lastly, we also offer our award winning live radio broadcast every Sunday night from 8-9pm Eastern time on WGBB 1240 on a AM dial which can be heard on your radio in Nassau County, Western Suffolk County, most parts of Queens, and some parts of Brooklyn. This radio broadcast is entitled "The Adopting Teens & 'Tweens Radio Forum." If you cannot access the program from your radio feel free to listen to a live-stream on-line every Sunday night between 8-9pm at www.am1240wgbb.com If you happen to miss the live radio broadcast feel free to listen to the program anyway on the radio station's website by the Tuesday after the Sunday broadcast by clicking here http://www.am1240wgbb.com/Show%20Pages/TeensAndTweens/teens.htm

Adopted teen finds answers, mystery in China

LOS ANGELES TIMES
August 30, 2009



Reporting from Beijing - The father fell to his knees, weeping. The mother quietly buried her face in her hands. The 17-year-old boy stood upright and motionless -- whether out of shock or stoicism, no one knew.

Christian Norris, who had just returned to China for the first time since he was adopted by an American eight years ago, didn't know what to think.

The interpreter stood quietly on the sidelines waiting for what seemed an eternity, the only sounds were the sobs and the clicking of cameras that filled the room.

"Honey, are you OK?" Christian's adoptive mother, Julia Norris, finally asked. He nodded affirmatively, but said nothing.

The reunion between Christian, a high school student in Easton, Md., and his birth parents took place Saturday in a Beijing hotel room crowded with well-wishers and media on hand to witness the virtually unprecedented event.

Since the early 1990s, an estimated 75,000 Chinese-born children have been adopted abroad, and although they increasingly visit China on heritage tours, Christian is one of only a few who have managed to chase down their personal history.

"I'm not sure yet," Christian answered with a teenage boy's characteristic reticence when asked what he hoped would come of the reunion. "I want to move on."

Christian's case is unusual in several respects: He's male, whereas most adoptees are girls abandoned because of the Chinese preference for boys and the government's "one child" policy. And unlike most adoptees, who are given up as babies, he lived with his family until he was nearly 7, leaving him with fragmentary memories that became vital clues in the search.

His birth parents were medical researchers, better educated than most who give up their children, and it was possible to track them down on the Internet.

It also helped that his U.S. mother, who works for an adoption agency, is both a firm believer in open adoptions and a tenacious investigator who once worked for the television show "America's Most Wanted."

Julia Norris was able to enlist an army of volunteers through a Chinese nonprofit called Baby Come Home, which helps Chinese parents search for lost children.

"This is the first case we've handled where an adopted child came back to find birth parents, but I expect it is going to happen more often," said Yang Guan, one of the agency's founders. "I hope that China can move to a more transparent system where orphanages are more able to make information available."

Like many families, Christian's had its secrets and silences.

He was born Jin Jiacheng in 1991 in Yinchuan, a city in the Ningxia region several hundred miles west of Beijing, to a couple who both worked in a hospital and already had a son. Because his parents could have been penalized for having a second child, he was sent as a newborn to his father's home village to be raised by his grandmother and a 23-year-old uncle, who pretended the infant was his own son. When he turned 6 and was ready to start school, they sent him back to the city.

He had lived only briefly with his birth parents when he somehow got lost, his family says. His father, Jin Gaoke, said that they were on an excursion by bus and that he got off for a few minutes to buy food at a market, returning to discover that the bus had driven off.

"I hope you can forgive our mistakes," the father mumbled repeatedly during the reunion.

The family was wrenched apart by the boy's absence. His mother went into a deep depression. His father and uncle stopped speaking to each other, the younger one blaming the father for losing the child.

"He was like my son. I felt so bad when he was lost, I would drink liquor to take away the sadness," said his uncle, Jin Xiaowang, now 40 and still farming wheat, potatoes and corn at the village home.

Jiacheng somehow ended up 350 miles to the east in Henan province, where he was found wandering under a bridge and brought to an orphanage in the city of Luoyang.

In 2000, Julia Norris was touring the orphanage on a business trip when she met the boy and fell in love. She returned the following year to adopt him, becoming a single mother. Three years after that, she adopted a Chinese girl as well.

Growing up, Christian was frustrated by the fragmentary nature of his memories. He could remember only a house in the country, mountains in the distance, grazing yaks, a few names. How he had gotten lost had been erased from his memory, perhaps by the trauma of it all; he remembers only a man buying him food and giving him money.

"I thought they abandoned me. It didn't feel good," Christian said.

Julia Norris decided to pursue Christian's origins because she worried he would be tormented for life by nagging questions.

"He needed the peace of mind of knowing what happened," she said.

She worries that many Chinese adoptees, now young children, will eventually be asking questions that will be almost impossible to answer. Adoptees usually have no information except the date and place they were found.

Norris' daughter, now 6, keeps asking, "Mommy, can I find out who my birth parents are too?" Norris said. "I can't make her any promises. She was found on the day she was born."

For Christian, the memories aren't exactly flooding back, but bits and pieces are starting to make sense. He can't remember a word of Chinese or his birth parents, but he recognized his grandmother and the uncle who raised him. At the reunion, his Chinese family gave him a bag with his favorite candy as a young child and an abacus -- on which he had been learning to count before he disappeared.

"This I remember," he said, fingering the beads -- one of the few times he smiled.

His Chinese family seems just as eager to understand the life that Christian has led in the United States. They pored over a photo album the American family brought: Christian posing with a surfboard. With a Halloween jack-o'-lantern. With his sister in front of the Christmas tree.

They marveled over the strapping American teenager Christian has become. A handsome, athletic boy, at 5 foot 8 he towers over all of his Chinese relatives.

"He's so big," his uncle exclaimed. "And he has hairy legs. Just like an American."

Christian and his mother, along with an aunt and uncle, will travel this week to Ningxia to visit his birthplace. Then he will return to start classes at Easton High School.

His birth parents say they are thrilled to see him, but do not expect him to move back.

"Jiacheng's roots are in China, but his future is in the United States," his father said. "It is clear that he has been well cared for and has a bright future in America."

His birth mother, Shao Julian, added quietly, "We hope to stay in touch with him, but we wouldn't try to force him to come back to China -- we wouldn't want to hurt him twice."

barbara.demick@latimes.com

Tommy Yang of The Times' Beijing Bureau contributed to this report.

Copyright © 2009, The Los Angeles Times

Adopted Teen Finds His Biological Parents

I found this article on AOL and nearly flipped out! After reading this article my eyes began to fill with water. As an adoptee, sometimes you may never know the exact reason why we are given for adoption, but we must remain humble and never fill our hearts with anger about the situation. Life is challenging, it more than most can handle at times. Be strong adoptee's, learn to forgive, learn to find peace within, and learn to love again.

(Aug. 28) – As most American teens plan their return to school, Christian Norris planned a different return –- to China, and the biological parents he thought had abandoned him.
Three years ago, Christian, now 17, asked his adoptive mother, Julia Norris, if she could look for his birth parents.

This summer, she found them. And what she discovered shocked relatives on opposite sides of the world. His family had not abandoned him. Instead, they had been separated by a tragic mistake, when his father lost him while they were traveling by bus. The parents say they never intended to let their son go.
This weekend, they welcomed him back.
The e-mails the parents exchanged tell the story.
"The world is so big, yet the love of a mother is even beyond that," Christian's Chinese father, Jin Gaoke, wrote. "A foreigner just devotes all the selfless love to a Chinese child, what an amazing internationalism! You are a great mother and I bow to you."
Julia Norris' mother, Joyce Norris, helped tell her daughter's story, one that's made headlines from CNN to The Baltimore Sun to daily newspapers in China. Her daughter was unavailable -- she was traveling.
Julia Norris also tells her story on her blog. In 2000 Norris, a single woman of 33, journeyed on a mission with an adoption agency to China. There, a young boy captivated her. His Chinese name was Jing Jiacheng. He was found under a bridge in 1998, alone and in shock. Police couldn’t find his parents, so he was available for adoption.
Julia Norris, who wanted to be a mother but had planned on marrying first, couldn’t stop thinking about him, Joyce Norris said.
In the spring of 2001, she formally adopted him, and he came to live with her in tiny Easton, Md., near the Chesapeake Bay.
Over the years she jotted down whatever he recalled of his Chinese childhood. After her son asked her to search for his birth parents, Julia Norris tried to piece together what she could. She enlisted the help of a Chinese attorney. She scoured the Web.
This summer, she received an e-mail from Christian's biological father, a doctor whose wife --– Christian's mother -– had breast cancer.
He begged for his son's forgiveness and asked to meet him.
Norris replied on behalf of her son.
"I hope in some small way you can find peace now knowing that during the time he was missing from your lives he was treated well and very much loved by his American family," she wrote.
"My hope is that Christian never feels emotionally torn between two families that both love him dearly, but instead that he can think of us as one big family that now spans two great nations! I hope your family will also do the same."
Christian, it turns out, had been raised partly by an uncle in China. Reports differ about exactly how he got lost, but all of the stories agree that the boy was separated from his father when traveling by a bus. That was in 1998.
Traveling to China this summer wasn't easy on the family. In addition to Christian, Norris has a 6-year-old daughter she also adopted from China. As Joyce Norris said: "There's too much month for the money" for the still-single mom.
But then an anonymous donor from the Norris' church gave the family two plane tickets. Julia Norris' boss bought a third ticket, her mother said. And a fund at a local bank accepted donations.
On Thursday, Julia Norris, her brother, her sister and Christian flew to Beijing to meet Christian's Chinese parents. They planned the trip quickly, in case his birth mother's health flagged suddenly.
At around 9 p.m. Friday night East Coast time, Christian reunited with his biological parents.
"The birth family was waiting for us when we walked into the room," Julia Norris wrote on her blog. "As soon as the family laid eyes on Christian there were outbursts of tears. His birthfather literally knelt down in front of Christian holding his hands and sobbed. "
Later the families ate together and took a boat ride.
Christian's Chinese grandmother clutched the boy's hand, Julia Norris wrote, like she never wanted to let it go.

2009 AOL LLC. All Rights Reserved.
2009-08-29 15:23:54

A SEARCHER'S PRAYER

LORD, you've given me all things (my life, my health, my family, my home) but never let me forget that they are really Yours and only loaned to me. Father, I give You my rights to my birth family. Because they are Yours and being guided by You, I want to do nothing to interfere with Your plan for their lives. I only want to do what I can to build a healthy, loving relationship based on the present and looking forward to an eternity made possible and shared by You.

I thank you, Lord, for their imperfections. You will ask them to give up their dreams of a "perfect family" in order to accept ME, so I, too, relinquish my dreams of perfection so that I can more realistically relate to them. I give up my rights to their time and attention, and if, out of you Your goodness, You grant me time with them, I will accept it from Your hand as a priviledge. I won't complain about lost days or wasted years. I will enjoy whatever time we have together and accept our time of separation as also from Your hand.

By Your grace and wisdom, I will seek to honor You through my search. I promise to refuse all thoughts of self-pity and resentment if bureaucratic red tape hinders my search. In essence, I'm asking You to arrange all the circumstances of my search and its results according to Your loving kindness. And because I trust Your judgment, I will accept all the circumstances as being from You, acknowledging You as the blessed controller of all things. I also promise to accept the circumstances, not as I wish they were nor even as they should be, but AS THEY ARE.

Father, I confess that vain imaginings only rob me of spiritual vitality, so I will, by Your grace, continually bring each of my thoughts captive unto the obedience of Christ my Lord. Grant me peace of mind and heart through this time, in Jesus Name.

Amen

(This prayer is adapted from Charlene Potterbaum's prayer
on pages 22-23 of her book "Thanks, Lord, I Needed That")

as an adoptee, he gives me strength, courage, motivation, love, and support beyond measure

i know if he is reading these words he probably thinking "aren't these the words i just spoke..". i am talking about a couple emails my boyfriend has written me to help me get through difficult times dealing with my adoption. on my birthday i wrote him explaining to him what was wrong with me the day prior because i couldn't even speak i was in tears and crying so hard i couldn't even get a word out without blasting out in loud cries. i also thanked him for taking the time out to show me what matters in life and how much he has touched me over the time we have been together.

he writes:

Mama,

Just know now that every bday you have with me from here on out they won't be spent crying. They will be spent embracing and celebrating the day you were born. Born in this world to make a difference in peoples lives. I'm glad this birthday was so special to you. And its just such a coincidence that the last time you were @ the Zoo was when your father was alive.

I'm so lucky to have a woman like you in my life that always has my back 110%. We both are going through some obstacles @ the moment but I know through faith and prayer everything will work out for the best.

Love you Princess!!

so amazing are his words to me, i was in tears when i read this email. i encourage people in relationships to embrace each other and uplift each other. i know i have heard some adoptee's express that their partner does not understand their pain, or the reason in wanting to search for their loved ones, or they may even get mad because they are constantly on the internet networking with others. so i encourage everyone that is in a relationship with an adoptee to be supportive in one another, and the situations that that you might encounter. in a relationship, supporting one another in serious emotional issues can bring two closer than ever. and to those that can not relate in a relationship about their partner being online so much, get over it! lets be real, its not like we walk around with shirts saying, "hi i am an adoptee and i feel your pain" or "i am an adoptee and i am searching too". PEOPLE THIS IS ALL WE HAVE TRUTHFULLY TO FIND OTHER PEOPLE THAT CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH, SO STOP BEING JEALOUS OF THE INTERNET, AS AN ADOPTEE WE ARE ALL LIKE FAMILY, RESPECT IT! . i am thankful for the man i have that supports me even though it took some time for me to be able to open up about it. the fact is i had to open my mouth and share with him my feelings and how important this means to me, the whole search and this blog that i write in. as an adoptee we cannot expect for people to understand how we are feeling if we dont speak up.

-its just food for thought-


Disclaimer: Papa please don't kill me for posting your email. lol. you know i love you. ha haaa. smooches!

yo mah, its my birthday, you remember that?

i just celebrated my 25th birthday looking all grown up, damn i didnt know what to expect of it. every year on my birthday its like a bad storm that causes a train to trip tracks and crash. this time around it came on the eve of my birthday. i mean i cried and cried all day it was crazy. i guess every adoptee that is searching feels the same way, left wondering if our mom remembers the day she gave us up. my man came home and asked what was wrong, but i couldn't even get the words out i was so stricken in sadness. i feel like i am so close to her, but i cant see her (my mom) it is so describable. i did not know how i was going to deal with the actual day of my birthday which would be the next day, my head was beginning to spin. all i have to say is God's timing couldnt be better. my man was supposed to be gone for work out of the country a few days prior, therefore he would have missed my birthday, but God knew i needed him here with me for peace and comfort and that is just what happened. this wonderful man of mine that i call my angel, gave me a special day i will never forget. we went to the Miami Metro Zoo in Miami, Fox's Cafe in South Beach and hung out and ate, then we went out @ the Hard Rock Cafe clubbing. its the little things that matter. he turned the whole day into a reason that gives me reason that i have a purpose if that makes sense. i really believe i meant to be with him and give him the love that i know keeps him moving forward, its like we are meant for each other. he is such a comforter when i am down with depression wondering where my family is and he helps me through every part of it and so much more.

but in my heart i still wished my mom could tell me happy birthday, but one thing i learned in my life is that: to have those in your life that love you are the ones that deserve your love too. if they treat you like family, then that is your family.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY 25 YEARS OLD...HALF OF 50"

the night ended beautifully. i cannot thank everyone that came out and all the birthday wishes i recieved throughout the night.

Mom i wish you could have been here with me. i wanted to make a video for you on my birthday, but i am sure i would have cried all the way through it. just know i am thinking about you and you will always be in my heart.

love you,

jessenia Milagros Gonzalez

Grant Me The Serenity...

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change;

the courage to change the things that I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen


as my search progresses i have come to a few stumbling blocks emotionally. feelings of anger and sadness fills my heart from time to time. I pray this prayer to remind me that although things have happened to me in the past i cannot let it hold me back, because we all know we cannot change the past all we can do is move forward. everything that is in my power to change i pray for wisdom and knowledge to know when to change and when to be still. so many times we are confronted with obstacles in our life and come to a road block not knowing where to turn or whether the decision we are about to make is going to be best. i believe there is a healing in prayer though and that is what keeps me going. God first, everything else is second.

iwalkbyfaith

Special thanks to my 50th Follower!!!!

another life changed is another day i live. my blog has been a life changing experience for me as i see how it has helped others come to terms with being an adoptee. speaking out about their feelings, learn about adoptee rights, and knwing that we are not alone is such a relief!!! it is difficult to speak about how we truly feel not knowing where we come from genetically, how we may look as we age, and most of all why why why did this happens to us, why were we not good enough or...??? but today, it marks a new day for me, i have reached my goal that i had given myself to have by my birthday this month on the 20th of August and that is to have 50 followers on my journey, believing in something that means so much to me.

"special thanks to the Kone Family and their new additon to their family, their beautiful little daughter Ameera, may you all continue to be blessed as you grow together and build memories."

since starting this blog i have found happiness and forgiveness in my heart through meeting people going through what i have been through, and from people that are adoption parents hoping to raise their child with a love that passes so much comfort from any possible pain in the future. i cant do it without you all so remember that, everyone plays a major role in my book. i love you all and i love all of you i may meet in the future.

i will have a special blog up for my birthday August 20th, stay tuned.


support them and they will support you-j.arias-gonzalez

the power of the green necklace

the color green is a sign of power, compassion, unity, love, and most of all the color that every human in society dreams of having, "green". in the eyes of an adoptee the richness of "green" is the symbol of being an adoptee, our rights we fight for everyday we breath, and when we look at ourselves in the mirror.


i had the honor of meeting a compassionate adoptee, Jeff Hancock, a "late-discovery adoptee" over Facebook the other night while i was up surfing the net trying to meet other adoptee's and read stories about them. i simply sent message and told him i was elated that he attended the Adoptee's Rights Rally in Philly and i wanted to thank him. i went on to tell him i couldn't make it to the rally and about my blog to check it out. next thing i know i received a message from him that said, "hey Jae, I wish I'd known, I'd have added you onto the name necklace I wore around Philly :-)".



i really didn't know what he meant by that necklace he was talking about until i looked at his profile picture, and i seen "the green necklace"! i asked him to tell me about the significance of the necklace and i must say, it brought so many emotions to me in a matter of seconds. He describes the necklace and the whole experience of the 2009 Adoptee's Rights Rally as one of the most humbling experiences he has ever had.


"The necklace", i must bring emphasis on it because it is just that powerful. the necklace has the names of over 170 adoptee's on it!!! i smile at the thought when he shared that he did not expect the people to send their stories as well as their names for the necklace. i dont believe an adoptee can ever not tell their story, sometimes it just sounds heroic. i really wish i would have met Mr. Hancock earlier so he could have carried my name as well; however, the support and compassion this man has is a true gift and definition of the word humble. he shared these words with me via Facebook:

"Reading each story and placing names on the necklace was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I still have it, and never will part with it, either"."

i just wanted to say thank you on the behalf of every adoptee. continue your great work, we will see you next year 2010.

yourbloodismyblood,

Jae

ADOPTEES RIGHTS PROTEST IN PHILLY 2009

its events and moments as such that make me proud to be an adoptee. to be a part of a cause that i have to live and breathe everyday. the life of an adoptee....

i was looking forward to the protest for about 3 months when i first heard of it. i wanted to be a part of this movement because i knew i would be amongst many people that are going through what i am going through, and would understand my feelings. most of all, i was looking to find support. no one truly knows how it is to go through life not knowing their family, their roots, its crazy, IT HURTS . unfortunately i wasn't able to attend the protest because i started a new job that requires me to be on schedule (sad face). it hurt me to my heart to not be able to attend, but i have to thank God for the blessing of having this new job and leaving that old life i was living. i know i will have the opportunity in the future to attend another protest or something of its kind.

i wanted to give a special thanks though to all that attended the protest whether related to adoption in any way or not. this is a world wide cause that does in fact affect many. it brought great joy looking at the pics from Adoptee's Rights Demonstration on Myspace. watching people marching in the rain with their friends and families for the right to have OPEN ADOPTION . young and old, all races, all kinds seem to have showed up for this spectacular day! not to mention it was raining , now you know its love when you see people doing their thang in the rain!! lol. its all about support and growth in this matter. i continue to ask that everyone embrace one another as an adoptee or as someone who has plans to adopt, "we are in this together" as i always say.

(below, i posted this excerpt from http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/)


Notes on Facebook:people’s memories of the day. Mary Anne Parker-Hancock of New York reports:

In spite of the rain, about 75 people met up with signs (made during an exhausting fun sign-making party last night) and marched several blocks to the convention center, where legislators from all states are having their annual convention.

We had many honks from drivers along the way, lots of thumbs-up signals from passers-by, and lots of people stopping us to ask questions. Diane and Matt led us with “You’ve got yours,” to which we responded, “We want ours!” Okay, technically I shouldn’t have replied, because I wasn’t adopted, which means I DO have my birth certificate.

The highlight of the morning was a group of about 50 high school students waiting outside a building for their tour bus to pick them up. I stopped and told them why we were marching: “Adults who were adopted when they were kids don’t have access to their birth certificates. They’re sealed. Adoptees are issued false birth certificates instead, so they don’t know who they really are — they don’t know the first chapter of their lives.” My explanation was met with an explosion of “WHAT?!” and “You’re kiddin’ me!” and “That totally sucks” and “That’s bogus!” and one little “I’m adopted!” As we continued on, several shouted, “You go, miss!”

A few minutes later, as we were headed back up the street, the group had moved toward the bus, which had just arrived to pick them up. They cheered for us, and then one young guy shouted, “Hey, wait a minute — ONE, TWO, THREE–” and the others responded, “O-B-C!!” (”OBC” means “original birth certificate.”) We felt very cheered and emboldened by this, of course! It was wonderful to hear. They did it two more times and we all cheered together. I loved it.

special thanks to the Adoptee's Rights Demonstration committee and everyone that attended and supported.

i don't know what is going on in recent media with all of this adoption recognition up rise. i find it rather strange i must say. i remember growing up i didn't even know what it meant to be adopted when i heard it, but i knew it sounded similar to alienation. being adopted was nothing a person would want to claim or speak about because it gave the vibe of being an outcast to your family or even to those around you. however, with the assistance of recent media we are finding being an adoptee or adoption as acceptable and it feels sort of comfortable to be in that skin.

As an adoptee we can now turn to television to cope or have some understanding with the different stages of adoption. one of the very first stages we can see is in the program from MTV "16 and pregnant".



we can see how parents at a young age feel that they dont have a choice in the world but to give up their child because both parties arent ready, or the environment is unstable. i mean i dont find it to be a good reason, but the truth is, to each is own. i feel personally that if you are in that position there is a way to deal with it and raise that child. no one said it would be easy. i still havent been able to watch the episode where the young teen gives her child up on national tv. emotionally i cant bear to see it, but i hope i can soon. another program on television is on MTV, "Real World: Cancun".



in the beginning when the cast meets each other they soon discover that three of them can relate to being adopted such as Jonna, when she was four she was put in to foster care and then when she was nine she was adopted by her caseworker that kicked her out when she was 18 years old. Also adopted was Derek, Jonna coworker who is also on the show and Emile. Emile made a comment that is very familiar to most adoptee's, stating i have never known an adopted person personally. that to me is one of the reasons that i have my blog up, i want adoptees to know that they are not alone. most of us are open to accepting adoptees as our own little family. now as far as the realworld drama i have decided to opt out of writing a blog about what Ayiia said to Emile being adopted. i will save the cyberworld more drama. another even more interesting show that has everyone raving is the T.O, Terrel Owen Show.



One of his publicist, Mo has never met her sister and she was attempting to reunite with her which was unsuccessful and heartbreaking to anyone watching that is searching for a loved one. while i was watching that clip, all i could think of was OMG how are they going to react when they see each other because i wonder how my family will be when we reunite. ultimately we find out that her sister stands her up. a good friend of mine that is also adopted texted me while the show was running and told me she was afraid that would happen to us, but we reassured ourselves we will be strong about it and believe by faith it will all work out.



Lastly, there is a movie out, "Orphan", i have not watched and i am not sure when i will. after reading many blogs from adoptee's and the adopted community, it has caused an uproar about how adoptees are depicted. there is already a huge disparity in adoption rate to pout out a negative picture about adopting children.

anyhow, i just wonder what is going on with all this adoption in the media as i mentiond before. however, i am elated to know that there is more awareness about adoption out there and we have recognition now. who knows, it just may spark an interest in some, and many to get off there asses and search for their family that just may be waiting on that call or that knock on the door..."hi my name is Jessenia, are you..."

I just wanted to hug you and kiss you goodnight

no matter how old i get i will always be your little girl, i will always dream of running into your arms and saying "hi mom, hi dad". tonight i go to sleep thinking about you all and where you are. you see the older i get the tougher this all becomes to me. i try and search for you in my mind and in the physical everyday, but sometimes i just cannot bring myself to get those documents out and get to it. i know it seems that i don't want it bad enough because i haven't went to he next step, but please know that isn't even the case. so many thoughts run through my mind as to how my life is going to change once we meet. you know its funny, i met this man the other day who swore up and down he met a young woman that looked just like me, and all i can do is think in my head "maybe its her, my mom, my sister". i cry silently behind my smile. i remember telling my grandma once, its funny how everyone says i have such a beautiful smile, but truthfully its like i smile so big an bright because i hurt inside. don't get it me wrong i am happy for so much, but if i can just smile that smile that would make feel so much better inside. i just let time take its course. you know, just through this brief time of blogging i have touched so many people that never knew how to deal with being an adoptee or even speaking out about wanting to search for their biological parents because they were afraid of what their adopted parents would say or think. so mom and dad where ever you are, just know that God works so amazingly, and his plan is so according to the work and dreams that he has for us. as tough as it is to deal with all this and being so lonely every night, i know that i have a calling for this to help those that need comfort. God you give me strength when i am lonely and weak, you live in me.

tonight i pray where ever you guys are, know that i love you and i think of you everyday. i will never change the way i feel about all of this. i am not mad. i just want to hold you guys and tell you i am home. its never too late to start our family...

love your daughter, your sister

Jessenia

ADOPTEE RIGHTS DAY IN PHILLY

as the day approaches we are one step closer fighting for the rights that we deserve, our birth records. July 21, 2009 at 11am in Philadelphia there will be an organized rally and protest. show your support by wearing green shirts or ordering from www.cafepress.com. i found a few shirts that i am posting below. whether or not you are an adoptee or adopted, we all know someone who is so be sure to show your support. all proceeds go to the adoptees right demonstration to pay for permits, parking, security, and advertising, and the goal of having a booth at the annual summit of the national conference of state legislatures.

available in red, black, blue, violet

Denied your birth certificate? Make a statement while supporting the Adoptee Rights Demonstration!

all of these shirts and more items such as sweaters, sweatshirts, sweat pants, hats, pens, agendas, calendars, etc are also available at http://www.cafepress.com/AdopteeRightsPA

SPECIAL THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT PUT TOGETHER THIS RALLY AND TO THOSE THAT SUPPORT AND WILL SUPPORT IN THE FUTURE.

you have the right to remain silent...

curly afro all out of place, pj's, and bad breath, i look at the clock and it reads 7am on a weekend, WHY THE HECK AM I UP!! i leave the garage where i used to live at my momma's house to hear none other than my oldest sister who hates my guts! as a matter of fact, she has hated me since i was adopted, it didn't take long to figure that out. its been so long that i cannot remember all the details, but maaannnnnn i will never forget these words YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT...

at the time i was 14 yrs. old and my sister was about 22 yrs. old. she started some argument with me about something petty i cant remember, and as usual she threatened to ground me for talking back against her ways. on a side note, punishment started at a month and oftentimes she would let me pay half my time out of it; therefore, i was out making money to get free. need i remind you, my mom was at the house and she was far from the boss in our household, but that's another blog explanation i guess. on this crazy morning i guess the me inside decided i am not taking this bull shit anymore. i was tired of being punished, beaten, and deprived of being a child while she and the "monster" ran the house. we got into an argument, all i remember before i snapped were these words "your mom should have left you to die, she didn't love you", then she spit in my face. i snapped! now i have to add that at 14 years old i was only about 110lbs, and my sister was about 5'8 and 250lbs , so imagine that fight. first thing i did was punch the shit out her, but i knew that would not be enough because she was a beast. immediately i threw everything in sight at her as she pulled my hair (typical female non-fighting female)and my mom screamed in the background "no, no, please please stop", there was no stopping this time! we tussled for about 5 minutes till we were in a lock position and the police came flying through the living room door. they finally got us apart and sent me back into the garage while my mom and my sister were in the living room giving their statement about what had occurred. now here is the problem, back then mom momma's english was horrible, therefore whatever my sister translated to the police i am sure it was not the 100% truth. as i sat on my bed, i am just thinking about those painful words my sister said to me and if it were true, after all i didn't really understand this whole adoption stuff as it was clearly. then, one of the officers came in the garage and asked me if i had anything on me i shouldn't have and i said, "no". then she said, "put your hands behind your back, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do may be used against you in the court of law..." as i type this i take a deep breath as all those memories come back. immediately i began to think how can i escape from the police. i told the officer i had to go to the bathroom, which i really did, but i was trying to buy time and figure out what to do. that was a bad idea, the dang officer followed me into the bathroom. i was like, "yo, what you doing"? she said, "now that you are cuffed i have to be in the bathroom with you to supervise". i was absolutely livid!! i had to swallow my pride and pee, after all i was going to jail they were going to see me go number one and two all day everyday, so i have to get r4eal with myself right now. once i got to the detention center they took my finger prints and my mug shots, far from a Halle Berry. the officers were even cracking on me because my neck was stuck to the side, you think they gave me some ice? heck no! jerks!

after waiting and waiting i finally got a hearing and i went to court, they sent me to a group home and a second chance school for juveniles that have committed crimes in one of the worst cities ever, what sense does that make? on my first day of school there i had to fight to keep my lime green and silver nike airmax (i almost got jumped for) as well as my lunch. the kids were wild, one kid left from school after the van dropped us off to sell dope, another left to have sex with his baby mom's and the others were cliqued up to fight a rival neighborhood gang, and where did i fit in in all this? after all, i was not a bad kid, i was just hurt emotionally, and NO ONE stood up for me, not my mom, my other sister, nor the police, not ever did anyone ask my side of the story. but lets just say that an other chapter and just the beginning of a very troubled street life. lets just say now that i have been through college the term is, "institutionalized"

i went from kicks and handcuffs, to stilettos and handcuffs...